Update 2017 : Chronically ill

I'm back! 😛

Since my last blog post a lot has happened and lots of things that I want to share, and will make a separate blog post about each. To break it down:

- I went to Miami, Florida for the reader's favourite book Awards
- My book Spacetoads got a 5-star review and is being considered for Readers favourite awards autumn 2017 (buy it here Spacetoads )
- I published a YA thriller ( köp den här Den Iskalla döden )
- I became a board member of the theatre society in Hallstahammar, Sweden
- I am studying

But the biggest thing that has happened has actually changed my life forever!

In December 2016 I hurt my back, probably due to (the day before) having been jumping on the trampoline with 3/4 of my kids, painted my baby's room and did all the housework as well as all the normal mum of 4 things you do during a school week. I can't quite remember the order of things but I remember my three eldest having been dropped off at school and me left with the baby wobbling around (who was just learning how to stand and walk holding onto objects!). So, we sit down to watch some cartoons when suddenly my back STOPS working, I end up falling onto the floor on my hands and knees much like the scene in Grace and Frankie, when they both get bad backs and are sliding/crawling around on the floor to find a phone to call for help. lol

Netflix series Grace and Frankie

At the same time as me trying to get up, my baby falls forwards into the leg of the bed, at first I thought she had cut away her frenulum due to the amount of blood but thankfully it was just a tear (as has happened to my other 3 kids too!). But the scene is ridiculous, I can barely move to console her, there is blood all over my floor and....my mobile is in the kitchen!

The rest of the week I am struggling to drive the kids to school (husband works abroad!) as the pain in my left side makes it hard to manoeuvre in any sort of smooth fashion. Unfortunately due to the way the Swedish system works here it took me the entire week to get an appointment to see a physiotherapist. I didn't feel it was an ER type of issue so decided to call what is known as 'Vårdcentralen'. Which meant first calling a country hotline where you outline your problems and then they direct you where they feel you need to go to get help, then I called the offices to speak with an adviser to the nurses and doctors who then advises me to contact a physiotherapist. So I call 2 different therapists and chose the one who can see me the fastest (Friday appointment!) So, seeing as it's only Tuesday and I'm in pain I basically have to rest and take painkillers as much as possible (thank god I work from home!). The Swedish medical system is not one I am a fan of, to be honest, but I won't complain as there are countries who have it far worse (coming from experience!).

Fast forward to April of this year and I had a terrible doctor (in training) who missdiagnosed me (twice!). She wanted to fantidepressantsessants for my back pain, as the pain had spread to my entire body!

It turns out I have suffered since I was a teenager (especially looking back at my medical history) with my newly diagnosed chronical condition hEDS, which seems to have gotten a little worse with every pregnancy (especially my last one! Ouch!)

Source: ' FB You know you have EDS when'

Now many know what EDS is, I certainly didn't. I thought the doctor at first said I was suffering from IBS (Irritable bowl syndrome) which obviously made no sense seeing as my entire body felt like it was falling apart and my muscles where the only thing kinda holding it together. :P
You can learn more about EDS here, great to spread awareness as there is no cure at this time.

So, the reason why I haven't updated in ages is because I have been going through a very physically and mentally (& emotionally) challenging path to find a healthy balance in my life whilst living with chronic illness.

Smile. Stay Strong. 💪😘💪💓

Skriva/ Stockhom 2016

Bloody GPS!

Well, what a weekend!
Jam-packed with authors telling us their stories of woe, hardship, writers-block, success and the never ending joy of writing. Inspirational!

But let's start at the beginning! Did the GPS get us lost...yes, yes it did! *sigh
I cannot explain how many f**k you's the built-in GPS got. Thankfully I'm not totally new to finding my way around new cities so, no panic. Quick serach on google maps and we found we were only 5 minutes off course. Which is great! But seriously the built-in car GPS is a total bitch, I cannot stand her. I will personally kill her off in a book one day and bury her hard drive deep in the scorching sands of the Sahara.
I kinda want to download Morgan Freeman or Billy Connolly instead, or better yet Dawn french!

So, we finally arrived at our hotel, Quality Hotel Nacka, in Stockholm.
I have always been skeptical to anything that claims in it's title to be ' Quality', so needless to say my expectations where put on high alert...will this be a motel acting like a hotel? Scenes from Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho flashing through my mind. "Although a creepy motel makes for a better storyline..." I thought.



Pleasently surprised, it was a lovely hotel and the food and service was wonderful. Not to mention that many of the men and women attending the Skriva conference were also in the hotel which meant that, thanx to blogger sofffieplopp , we had a great get together that evening with at least 20-25 of us all eating dinner together.

Large engorged Breasts

The only downer of the evening, for me (probably me alone!), where my Dolly Parton impersonating engorged breasts! 

Yup, you read it correctly! I could feel my top getting tighter around my chest and god forbid my arms grazed against the sides of my now incredibly tender bosom. To enjoy my weekend away I had to leave my 9mnth baby behind (*listen carefully and you can hear my heart break slightly!), which meant I had all the paraphernalia to pump the crap out of my breasts for 3 days. during a meal , however, you cant really say "Exscuse me everyone, I will be about 10 minutes, I've got to pump my breasts before I leak all over my Rissotto" smile shyly and then run like hell as I hold my breast tightly so they neither bounce nor squirt anyone in the eye as I race towards the elevator. 

Breastfeeding is really a great and wonderful thing to do with your child, the built and nutrition you and your baby has is beyond anything that can be described. Although, seeing as I have just been to a workshop with Anders Fager explaining how to explain 'feelings' I could probably find the correct words.

But being away from you baby when you are a breastfeeding mother is not written about as often. I had alarms on my phone so I could pump roughly the same time as my baby would be getting her feed at home (my already expressed milk left behind). When their was no way of getting back to the hotel to express, however, it resulted into painfully squishing the crap out of my breasts into any faucet that would have me. 

Haha This will be creeping so many guys out, but it is the god honest truth and NATURAL. To relieve a little pressure squirt out a little milk in between pump time, works a charm ladies (and saves your posh blouse from getting milk stains!).

Inspirational

It was so much fun to spend the weekend with multi award winning author Julie Hodgson (my mum) and get to be silly and talk Books books books.